Aidan

"Can you draw me breakdancing with sunglasses on? I have no money and can’t pay you in exposure, but I can reveal secrets of the universe."

- Aidan, asking for commissions.

Aidan is your father. Maybe. He loves his wife very much, however there is no recorded evidence of his wife actually existing. [what wife?]

History
Aidan theoretically married his coconut-allergic wife at some point. It is assumed his crimes started as a response to his wife's quantum nature.

When Himbo said some milldly insulting things in relation to Aidan's wife, she got very upset and ran with extreme speed to Hawaii, where she purchased a lot of coconuts. She is incredibly allergic to the coconut water though, and probably would've died had it not been for the cancellation of her credit card.

On January 30th, 2022, Aidan slew his evil twin brother, Francisdinandard, after they were separated at birth nearly 20 years earlier. The battle was vicious but Aidan came out victorious for the sake of the poor sour cream & onion allergenic cat that Francisdinandard stuffed into a pringles can.